...Do I listen to the weather forecast?
...Don't my earphones ever stay in my ears for the duration of my journey.... just once please? That's all I ask, just once!
...Didn't the mother say something to her son whilst he coughs all over my hair whilst I was on the train?
...At the ripe ol' age of 3#, do I still giggle at someone's unfortunate name? A client's name is "Kop Fatt Koc" - i kid you not!
...Do I forget to allow for extra time when i wear my FMB's. It takes me an average of 10 minutes longer to get to places.
..Is it that I never find anything to buy when I want to go buy something, but when i don't want to spend, I always find something I want to buy?
...In a city like London; one of the fashion capitals of the world, home of the world's prevalent fashionistas. Why does camel toe exist? There really is no excuse and I would like to propose on the spot fines!
...Is it that just because a coked up supermodel slung on an old pair of skinny fit jeans, suddenly the whole world has to go a buy a new pair of skinny jeans? I refuse! (That's cos i still have a pair from when they were soo OUT!) Besides, my feet are too big and it looks like i am walking on a pair of sledge hammers.
...Do men stand with their legs so far apart on the platform whilst waiting for a train? Surely their balls aren't that big?
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Saturday, April 01, 2006
waffle
This is such a ponsey blog. Sorry but I am bored of this blog as it's so boring and poncey - ooOOoo look at me whilst i galavant around the world. I don't know how you spell ponce, so any suggestions are most welcome.
i've never had so many butt clenching episodes in all my life! Butt clenchers = exceptionally close calls eg: when i am minutes away from missing my flight or i am minutes away from hitting someone.
It's not to say that I need some anger management therapy since returning to civilised land, but more to do with the fact that I seem to attract weirdo's and run into them on a daily basis.
2 weeks ago i was on the metro in Milan and this short fat older italian supranoesq woman started speaking to me in Italian. I said i don't speak italian, so she mutters something under her breath, to which i respond:
"Excuse me, what did you say?" (isn't it funny how abuse transcends all race, class and colour?)
"you in italy, you should speak ITALIAN"
"ok, so when you go to china you should speak CHINESE?"
"hey lady, you so impolite!"
"you are the one shouting"
i've never had so many butt clenching episodes in all my life! Butt clenchers = exceptionally close calls eg: when i am minutes away from missing my flight or i am minutes away from hitting someone.
It's not to say that I need some anger management therapy since returning to civilised land, but more to do with the fact that I seem to attract weirdo's and run into them on a daily basis.
2 weeks ago i was on the metro in Milan and this short fat older italian supranoesq woman started speaking to me in Italian. I said i don't speak italian, so she mutters something under her breath, to which i respond:
"Excuse me, what did you say?" (isn't it funny how abuse transcends all race, class and colour?)
"you in italy, you should speak ITALIAN"
"ok, so when you go to china you should speak CHINESE?"
"hey lady, you so impolite!"
"you are the one shouting"
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