Just say yes

The trouble with working in sales is, I don't always take no for an answer.

Following my rather brain stabbingly boring day yesterday, I spent a few minutes looking for jobs this morning. I hate recruitment consultants, particularly those who work in media sales, as they tend to be ex media sales peeps. As a result, they are constantly trying to sell you into jobs you don't want!

End of the day they have a vacancy to fill, just like one might have 1 full page left to sell - so they treat the candidate like a piece of paper and try to sell/ slot them right in that last space.

I was chatting to one the other day and I clearly told him I had no interest what so ever to work in £$%", so he obviously asked "why not". I reluctantly told him, knowing he was only asking me so he can get round those reasons and turn them into yes' - it's the oldest bluddy trick!

He proceeded to rattle on for about 10 minutes trying to turn those "no's" into "yes'" whilst I stood there thinking *god you are such a DIPADA!*

So he finished his plebian speech and left me screaming in my head *god please i hope i don't sound like that!*

Anyhoo, he asks me what I then thought as he now felt he successfully turned my no's into yes'. So I was honest and said, ok it sounds more interesting but I would like to work in a different sector. He then petulantly responded "well that's just not going to work and you won't have any luck".

What a knob! I told him initially I was not interested and then when I tell him I was he goes and says it won't happen! I'm better off doing this on my own.

So, today I wrote to a company I really want to work for - actually I think it's about the 5th time I have written to them. They already said no about 2 months ago, but being perpetually bored, I am writing to the person senior to the last one today. Writing to this company for a job has almost become a past time of mine, so much so, I may even add it to my CV under "interests" next time round!

Bored

Bored = the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest.

I am bored at work. Images of banging head on desk and picking nose seems far more interesting today! Snoozed alarm for 30 minutes this morning as a result am only half dressed for work with hair resembling the appearance of having stuck it in a tumble dryer, make-up smeared on with a slingshot. Fortunately the unhalf dressed bit is hidden under my desk. Fortunately I do not have a date tonight. Fortunately boss is still on vacation so i can sit here and bang my head on desk and pick my nose.

This boredom appears to be reoccurring. It happened frequently in previous jobs until juicy challenges came my way. This weekend shall have a brainstorming scheming session with best friend to start my own Empire! (dun dun daaaaahhhHHHH! oh yes, Regina takes on the world!)

Narrowing it down, I can say that the following things about my job really bore me senseless:
9-6pm thing - it's so ol' school.

1 hour lunches - again, so old school.

Working 5 days a week - so so old school! I can be more productive in 4 days than most of my colleagues are in 5 days.

Smart dress when one only sits ones desk all day - just unecessary

Male boss with PMS who leave threatening voicemails - unecessary and next time i shall be telling him where to go!

Small minded nosey colleagues who are more concerned with what everyone else does, rather than doing their job - i sooOOooo would have sacked him if it was my business as he is useless! I do more work than him on a non-productive day than the most productive day he's ever had!

Monotonous monotony of the job can sometimes kill braincells on a daily basis if there is not enough creativity involved.

In essence, I do love my job, the challenge it brings, the fabulous people i meet and building relationships with people. But for some reason I just get bored working on the same thing for more than 6 months! It used to be 1 year, but now that it has decreased to 6 months, me thinks it's time to do something about it!

Karma baby

I pity the people who do me wrong
For the wrath of karma hits them strong.
No stone is ever left unturned
It gets them & ensures the lesson is learned.

I do nothing, it all happens when my back is turned
I free my soul, let it go, do my thang
And leave the rest to what nature brings.

The most scheming mind can never conjure
What they will endure for making me suffer.
I pity the people who do me wrong
For the wrath of karma hits them strong.

Word up

Suffered from heavy eyelid syndrome at 8.30am on the train this morning. I'm talking serious head nodding and whiplash! How on earth am I going to last the day if I am feeling so sleepy after having been awake for only 2 hours?! Serves me right for the heavy sleepless weekend ;-)

More tennis this week *claps hands*. Well into the fitness regime and near enough stopped smoking *claps hands*.

We really fail to realise how much power we have as individuals and how strongly we effect other people - and I'm not just talking about 1 or 2 people.

Also, how powerful we are simply by keeping our word. If you are true to your word and speak it from the heart then you really can move mountains - it is absolutely incredible! I've done it before in the past; literally moved several mountains, but I kinda forgot how I did it for a while. But now that I remember how to, there are a few mountains I am moving; I even moved one over the weekend!

I've come to notice that people who feel they are getting no where in life is usually so because they are not being true to their word, or fail to make commitments in order to avoid taking responsibility. How can you make things happen if you are not true to your word? Those so disillusioned and think they are, are in even bigger trouble, for you can't know how to correct something if you don't see anything is wrong.

My dearest friends are people of deep integrity and you can just feel the positive energy radiating from them when I am in their company. I feel like I make new resolutions about everything every day, for each day is a new one to be someone amazing!

Don't mean to sound like the arch angel Regina, but it's like I've experienced a renaissance after a happy clappy weekend last week.

Righty, I'm off for a walk around the block for a non-fag break and to polish my white wings :-P

Make love not war!!

As I read the updates on the war in the Middle East, it angers me as it unfolds by the minute. America are simply allowing this war to continue and it is purely an act of cowardice. They have the power to declare an immediate ceasefire, but instead they are sending military aircrafts and arming the Zionists. How on earth can they be central in negotiating the ceasfire when they are arming/ funding the Israeli's?

America have been the cause of wars amongst Muslims over the past 20 years or so and if they allow this to continue, they could be making the biggest mistake to date which will result in World War 3.

They armed Iraq to fight Iran for 10 years. Then they go and bomb Iraq on the grounds of holding "weapons of mass destruction" which they gave them in the first place. And now they are arming Israel.

It is a massive game of chess - at the moment the pawns are fighting, it's just a matter of time before the knights, rooks, bishops and queen wake up...

I just don't understand why is it that 15 people gathered round a table cannot agree on stopping the bloodshed of innocent people.

What a wonderful world...do the math people!

Better be divine

Peeling myself off my chair, the hot weather continues to torture for yet another week.

Alright already, where is the rain? I remember the last UK summer I experienced 4 years ago, it only lasted for 1 week and the temperature was never this high! Mind you, I used to work in an air conditioned office back then, whilst here we have those pathetic little porta noisey air con units which make more noise than pump out air and incey wincey desk fans which is as much use as a fart. The sun shines through my window in the afternoon, which is when my hair starts sticking to my face. I know... eewee.

I have to say, the worst thing about this weather is having to ride the tubes! It really is ghastly and I do try to avoid it at all costs. I walked for an hour last week simply to avoid the tube as they are smelly with the humidity of sweaty people. *puke*

OK enough about the weather, I complain when it's cold and complain when it's too hot! Never pleasing.

Summer sales are still on and going strong. Have been ever so good and only purchased 1 item *pat on the back*. Thanks to Dobuy, I now cannot stand shopping, shops or crowded shops. I've transformed from a browser, to a straight in and out chickita.

Excited as next week yet another friend from Dobuy is in town :-), the following will be another whom I haven't seen in 2 years as he moved to South Africa. *Jumps up and down clapping hands*

On another joyous note; inhale and exhale for a new chapter and mindset is born. Who better to sum up the inspired new being is non other than Ms Badu...

If you want to feel me
Better be divine
Bring me water, water for my mind
Give me nothin
Breathe love in my air
Don't abuse me
Cause these herbs are rare

If you want too feel me baby
Better be divine
Bring me water for these flowers
Growing out my mind

Give me nothin' just be gentle
Breathe love in my air
Use me, don't abuse me, love me
Cause these herbs are rare

Thank you Badu!

Anyone for tennis?

Finally, Neo (tennis buddy and silly dancing buddy from Dobuy) has found a place to play tennis. We played this evening, so I imagine I will be unable to walk tomorrow. Hopefully this is the start of a weekly tennis regime, well as long as the weather holds up. On the last night we had drinks in Dobuy, we made a pact that we'd find a place to play tennis when we move back...9 months later ain't too bad!

It's not quite a tennis court on top of a 12 storey building next to a swimming pool with views of Shiekh Zayed Road! But a view of the glorious Thames will do just fine thank you :-)

I'm off for a happy clappy weekend of life fulfillment where I will come out the other side (Monday) feeling like everything is meaningless and I will probably want to jack in the job and go fight the Israelis! Well I already feel like doing that.

After 8.5 months of being back in Blighty, I do finally feel like I am piecing my life back together and everything is falling into place. Having the rug pulled from under your feet not once, but twice (albeit by complete choice) is pretty testing on the heart and soul. Moreover, moving back to a place which you left for a reason is far more challenging than heading to a completey new environment.

Not only the echoes of your old life (the place I left 4 years ago) whisper around you, but also the voices from the life you left behind (Dobuy) is constantly shouting at you; not in a bad way... just a way. Constantly prodding at you, you miss it and long for bits of it to come back.

Now here's the good part. I created that life and can re-create it wherever I go and that is what I am doing. It's a blank canvass and I am taking all the good bits of everything I ever liked and keeping it in my life, whilst I continue to discover new bits of life I want to keep in my life. Which means there are no bad bits left. So, my life is becoming badbitsless.

It's amazing what a simple knock about in the tennis court can conjure up?!...

Increase the peace

I am saddened, disgusted and angered at what is happening in Middle East. Just when I couldn't hate America and the Israeli's anymore! I'm quite sure the Lebanese death toll is a highly conservative number (lies!).

I am also disgusted at how my work colleauges spent more time talking about how one thug headbutted another thug in the middle of a football pitch for having abused his mother than talking about a war and how Bush and Blair are allowing innocent people to die and have given the Israeli's another week to carry on killing innocent people! Blair's gone and done it again, he know's it's wrong but afterall he did get a nice jumper courtesy of the Bush's!

Missing in action

Goodness me, where to start? Been missing in action, or rather missing due to action of sorts.

Firstly, birthday came and went in true regal stylee. Certainly acting my age in terms of venue, surroundings and activities. But certainly not acting the age, more like shoe size with regards to behavior and this was without the aid of alcohol!

It started with a drive to Paris with a friend. We nipped around le Paris in le morning, followed by lunch on the Champs Ellesse near Arc de Triumph with my cousin and his friend.

The weekend was spent in Loire Valley; a quaint little place 1 hour train journey outside Paris. It’s known as the Garden of France mainly due to the acres of vineyards; very soothing to the eyes. I think I got drunk just looking at it! Also known as Valley of the Kings owing to the sheer number of Chateaus.

So, I spent the day like a princess and went on what only can be described as a Chateau crawl with my cousin and 2 other friends. In 2 days we managed to get around 9 Chateaus all varying in age, style and substance. Had a feast fit for a queen in the lawns with the backdrop of a glorious 16th century Chateau complete with moat and a zoo full of 50 odd bloodhounds!

It was non-stop giggles and laughs from the outset, with each minute of the journey an adventure of stupidity. We also decided we had to converse in French. Even if you did not know the word in French, just say it with a French accent was order of the day.

I did insist we must play hide and seek inside one of the Chateaus, instead we found a maze in one of the grounds and played in there.

The following weekend, the same crew came over to London and we embarked on a musical marathon. By that I mean we attended a couple of West End shows. Sad I know, but again, it was non-stop laughs.

We checked into the hotel, which I booked for 2 of us, whilst my cousin made his way to the separate hotel booked by his company.

The hotel I had booked was the toilet bowl of hotels! We literally fell into the hotel room, looked at the bathroom, swiftly turned on our heel, went down to reception and handed back the keys. Unfortunately we could not get a refund.

In the process I called my cousin to make arrangements for us in the hotel he was staying, as there was no way we were going to stay in the one I had booked.

Meantime, cousin was at his hotel having drinks with the hotel staff whilst waiting for us. He managed to upgrade all of us as he had acquainted himself with the hotel manager. We swiftly arrived, quickly got dressed and made our way to a club.

Three in the morning we were running the length of Oxford street singing songs from classic musicals and managed to gather a small crowd along the way. Tres bizarre.

Hours later, we peeled ourselves out of bed to breakfast and on to hit the summer sales.

First of the musicals was Chicago. Thirty minutes into it we had all fallen asleep! My cousin and I were so embarrassed; we changed seats in the interval.

Lunch and a little pick me up and then onto Phantom of Le Opera. I have ALWAYS wanted to see this one and it was worth the wait. Desperately holding back the tears at the end, after hearing sniffles around the audience I just let my tears flow. I thought it was a happy ending and he got the girl! Not only did he not get the girl, but they teefed his boat and mask!

The others returned to their respective countries after the weekend, but cousin extended his trip until the following weekend. So the remainder of my week was an onslaught of more stupidity and drinking with the mad hotel staff. My cousin is the most charming person I know; he has this uncanny ability to talk his way into anything and we always seem to get complete strangers to join us wherever it is we go.

What else?.. ah yes how can I forget? It’s holiday season, so my dearest friends from Dobuy have been visiting London for their annual holidays. Spent lunches and dinners with them catching up. Gosh I miss them so dearly!

And how can I forget Badu? Being a mahoosive Erykah Badu fan, I was lucky enough to see her perform at the superb open-air venue of Somerset House. Certainly less intimate than her previous London venues, but undoubtedly far more spectacular. She rocked the crowd in true Badu style.

Well this brings us up to speed.

Tomorrow I shall be spending the morning trying to beat my father at chess. So far he has thoroughly thrashed me apart from last weekend where I finally made him sweat a bit! He actually resorted to cheating by making up a rule as he was making a penultimate move! I let him have that “rule” only as an excuse for him beating me again. This week I have been prepping on some new opening moves.. so lets see how it works. I may try the strategy of some of his pieces mysteriously disappearing off the board...lets see how that works – tee hee!

The afternoon will be spent with one of the coolest people I know and only in town for a couple of days before flying to the Middle East. She can only be described as an Arabic version of Carrie from Sex and the City. She is also one of the most adventurous human beings I have the pleasure of knowing. Her current “great idea” is to fly to Iran and learn how to ski, or to go to the gaza strip (again!)! Obviously I am trying to talk her out of it and persuading her to move back to London.

Alors, that's le latest. More le soon, a' bientot!

counting down the days...

It’s my birthday in less than 2 weeks. I’m not a massive lover of birthdays. I don’t dislike them, I just don’t like them. Why celebrate that day when we can live and celebrate every minute of everyday. More often than not, I’ve enjoyed the days before and after my birthday than the day itself. Saying that, last year had to be the best birthday to date.

Kickin it with a dear friend, just out on the “Dobuy town”. Nothing planned, just quiet drinks. Lots of silly dancing, club hopping and people following us from club to club. It all ended at something silly but sensible like 4am with threats of an afterparty.

It was fantastic and I have decided to make each one better as the years go by. Who knows how many more years we have. It’s strange how certain events happen in your life, certain people you meet puts life into perspective. I met someone dying of cancer. It just erased certain problems in my life and made them completely insignificant. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Also, I really cannot stand shallow materialistic people, especially those who make themselves out to be deep and non-materialistic – they are far worse than those who are upfront about their shallowness. Those who judge you by the way you look and your background and the things you own.

“I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I ma not this skin
I am a soul that lives within

Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?
I am expressing my creativity..”

Well said India Arie!

There is a far more exciting journey in life than the things we pick up along the way.

Stop callin me

I told you to leave me alone, so why you callin me?
We went through this two weeks ago. Does it slip your memory?
Why you being so selfish. Just let me be.
You broke my heart. Now you want the rest of me?
I gave all I had to give, now you want more?
I've asked you to leave me alone, you tryin to settle some score?
I'm not playing your game no more.
You killed the last bits of my soul with your lies and deceit.

- artist unknown

Anger management

That's it, I need anger management. Who'd a thunk...lil ol' me who wouldn't say boo to a shadow!

I have boycotted two sandwich joints near the office for gross misconduct. The first one was handling slimey pork sausages and then proceeded to make my toast with those same pork slimed hands. (I don’t eat pork, I prefer to have it smeared all over my clothes whilst traveling on BA!). In my utter disgust, I just walked out of the sandwich shop.

Second occasion, I asked for my usual toast with butter and a little dab of honey. I return to the office and sat at my desk to eat what looks like toast swimming in honey! I promptly return the soaked toast back to the guy who made it explaining;

“if you recall, I asked for a LITTLE bit of honey”. His response was “I did put a little”. I just asked for my money back.

Today, I was on the phone to a client who informed me that they decided to go with a competitor instead of us. I completely lost it on the phone! Well not completely, I just proceeded to explain what a huge mistake they were making… not good, in fact I am completely disgusted at myself for the aggressive approach! What has happened to me?!

Admittedly, the company I work for is known for its highly aggressive approach. Last week I was actually encouraged to use reverse psychology and instill fear in a client, push them to the edge and see what happens. Also, I just got off the phone to the client and my boss asked me to call them right back and get them to send the order form within the next few hours.

I mean come on.. would waiting a day or two kill anyone?!

I am now a walking pressure cooker about to explode. It’s a culmination of things, so I don’t just blame Dubai, but Dubai certainly has brought my temper to the forefront. Mental note…bring this up next time I see my therapist!

Good other news – had a second interview somewhere and I completely ballsed it up by being far too enthusiastic! I was joking with a friend of mine saying that I might have a drink before my interview to calm my nerves, as when I was doing the rounds when I first moved over here, my nerves let me down in interviews.

This time, I think I did a bit of over kill and even asked the interviewee if I could have a stick chewing gum! *slaps forehead* what was i thinking?! Well in my defence, he pulled out a stick of gum during the interview, so i asked for one explaining i swallowed mine before i came in.

Oh well, guess I will just have to continue threatening clients to advertise whilst something else comes my way…D"OH!!!

Deluded and Deranged

Rebound: pull through, recuperate, convalesce, ricochet, spring back…

Why oh why do people go for rebounds? I think it’s when a heart so desires to be with someone, the feeling of rejection from their previous heart’s desire is so immense; they need to be with someone to pull through, to fill that void.

We all know this is a mistake. Instead of taking time to work through the pain and growing as an individual, they are supplementing it. They have essentially lost all the intricate, magic complexions that make them an interesting individual. They are deluded and deranged.

Additionally, so are the people who desperately want to be in a relationship – now I’m talking about the people who are serial relationshippers (SR). I’m not sure if that’s the correct term for it, but I mean people who jump from one relationship to another, more often than not, each relationship cross over each other. They make sure they have a back up before breaking up because they cannot handle being on their own.

So desperate to be with someone, they are unsure what they are looking for, for they have always been in a relationship, so haven’t taken the time to develop themselves. Resulting in creating an incredibly co-dependant creature. They also tend to project their ideals on each person they are with; magnifying it, so initially they are floating in an ideal bubble, the person is perfect, nothing they don’t like about them and tell the other person all the things they want to hear.

All the ideals they are made to believe when growing up are projected onto the new encounter, be it material or conjured up in their minds. As the fog settles, the SR slowly realizes that this is not what they are looking for. Their eyes and bodies wander and before you know it, they are in another relationship.

Now I’m no expert by any standards, but perhaps both parties need to take time out and look within themselves. Re-create themselves, some me time. In this way, not only do they rediscover who they are as an individual, but also it gives them the time to think about what they want. Others who are mere objects/ subjects in the set up are saved from being used as a pawn in the ego trip of both the SR and rebounder.

A lesson learned

God has a stinky sense of humour, he really has.

Have you ever had the feeling where certain things or scenarios keep repeating themselves in your life and you get that realization; “damn I can’t believe I am in this space AGAIN!” And it pisses you off?! Have you ever wondered why that happens?

I’ve had that happen in different areas of my life. I am aware it happens and used to think to myself “yeah this always happens to me” and get on with it and treat it the way I usually do.

However, recently I’ve come to realize that the only reasons they keep re-presenting themselves is because we haven’t endured the lesson, but rather side stepped it. We haven’t confronted or worked through it, but run away from it, which is why it keeps reoccurring. When we work through it, work with it and learn the lesson, only then does it stop showing it’s ugly head. (no shit Sherlock! I know, it’s simply obvious).

So now when certain things happen, I handle them differently to the way I used to (obviously).

This came to me today, as it’s quite a poignant day for me. Well yesterday more so, as it was 4 years ago I left the UK and moved to Dobuy. And today is poignant as it was the day I arrived in my new life.

So yesterday and today my thoughts were about how God has a stinky sense of humor as I am in the same space, and with this I don’t mean physical space, as I was when I left 4 years ago. As I understand why, I am trying to laugh about it as opposed to let it get me down. I will work my way through it, learn the lessons, grow stronger and I know it will not happen again.

All part of life’s rich tapestry I guess. Sorry random waffle about stuff you already know.

All good, or is it?

Friend’s are so important to me, they really are - friends are the family you choose.

I’ve recently had the unfortunate experience of drifting apart from a close friend whom I shared many good times with in my first year in Dobay. Finally, well over 1 year ago I decided to cut her out of my life due to incredibly immature, insecure and off behavior.

She is the sort of person who jumps from one friend to another, then go back. She would befriend someone, then start bitching them behind their back and then go back to being their friend a few months later.

Friends of mine who knew her would joke, “so who is her flavor of the month”. Basically the sort of person who couldn’t commit. Ironically, her love life completely mirrors this behavior – she was a serial dater, from one to another with a new flavor every few months and just walking away before things got to heavy for fear of getting hurt. And she felt it was never her fault, it was always other people. With this attitude, nothing will change.

Being an incredibly loyal person (possibly my biggest downfall!), I tried everything I could to keep the friendship going, but she kept walking away. I tried to talk about what it was that had made this happen. She didn’t want to know and just wanted to brush it under the carpet and played jealous childish, powerfreak mindgames. So I gave up. Admittedly, her insecure behaviour and head in the cloud attitude made it very difficult to be in her company, but this increased as the distance became greater.

Both her sisters wanted me to try and make amends, talk to her and sort it out. I tried, but at the end of the day, it’s a two-way conversation. She was too immature to own anything and just needed therapy basically!

Two months after I left Dobuy, I was listening to the radio and heard a song which reminded me of the times we used to party. I picked up my phone and sent her a text saying something along the lines of; it’s a shame we have drifted apart, lets talk and sort it out.

She just carried on like everything was normal and there was no issue and we reminisced a bit. We occasionally email now, but I know we will never have the friendship we had unless she takes responsibility. It is quite an Asian trait to just brush things under the carpet and act like everything is normal, say everything is ok, but it’s not. End of the day, I am now only talking to her as I am friends with her sisters, otherwise I just don’t have time for people like this in my life.

I don’t like fake friendships at all. If I feel there is something wrong and there obviously is something wrong and they are not willing to talk and sort it out, then it’s not worth it for me. I've got too much to do and been through a lot to put up with BS from people who call them your friends. I'm not going to run after people anymore who have their issues and just constantly shit on you.

I'm a firm believer in; you get out what you put it or you reap what you sow. But I guess this isn't always the case? Or is it?

Inconsistency with closest friends and ourselves are one of the greatest faults of human nature.

Bitch about work for a mo..

I haven't really had a good bitch about work, so allow me for a moment.

Arselicker boy is back next week after having been away this week on work travels. This chap has awful delusions of grandeur with a generous dose of "thinkheesmyboss" illness. Seriously he does. He keeps telling me what to do and giving me advice in a loud voice just so my boss can hear – 11 times out of 10 I’m already aware of it. He does jack shit all day and when my boss wants something done, he will drop everything and do it. No hang on, he doesn't drop anything, because he's not doing anything!

The butthole also calls my clients and scraps around for any big bits of business I might have cooking.

Admittedly I have kinda been letting him get away with it by not saying anything, but i've decided to put my big foot down and start having a bit of fun with him.

Yesterday he sent me an email and it begun with "Please don't feel pressured by this email, but...." and preceded by telling me what to do - what a cock! I replied and cc'd my boss and my other colleague basically saying; cheers, run along and stop telling me what to do!

One could argue that perhaps I should not have involved the others, but I just wanted to make them aware, as I will now be taking out my claws and giving him a little bit of hell. Otherwise, being the snake that he is, he will just make out that I am non – co-operative and causing trouble.

He is also the biggest eavesdropper in the history of all mankind! Even when he is conversing with someone, he still has one ear on my phone conversation. He then starts intruding on my clients and finding ways of trying to muscle his way in on them. It's beginning to bug the hell out of me!

Me needs to think of a cunning plan and any suggestions are most welcome. He’s a bit thick and dopey, his arselicking is so obvious, it’s actually quite comical!

Step up

Can you believe it's May already? I've been back 6 months now and haven't achieved half the things i wanted to. Have to say, getting back into the London grind has been more testing than one anticiapted, but it's all good and challenging in the hood.

In Dobuy I had a lovely fully furnished flat with all my things in their rightful place. A cute likkle car to run around in which helped the social life, my regular little hangouts; shisha cafe's, place to eat cod n mash, brunching venue's, sittin on a wall to watch the sunset kinda places, regular night type venue to go shake foot a little, and more importantly; a handful of good friends I could go chill with and solve the world's problems.

So all of that has gone and I've decided to take decisive action, step up a few notches in my gears (oh, still haven't purchased a car), taking aim and gonna get a move on. What am i waiting for? Yalla habibi init?!

Somethings however remain the same. I still seem to get caught up between rock and hard places at work. Gaining trust from colleagues is great and flattering, but not when everyone wants to go out for a ciggie with you to bitch about others. I have to remain neutral, tight lipped and laugh in all the right places.

Today i was asked out for coffee by the office outcast. She is misunderstood. She spent the first 15 minutes bitchin about our colleague - she tends to spend most of her time doing this. I had to stop her as she was incredibly frustrated and working herself up into a little tiz. I just highlighted that she'd just completely wasted 15 minutes of her life, which she will never see again, complaining about this guy. I asked her a few questions and got her to talk about herself, then all of a sudden, her body language changed and she was quite joyful.

Life is too short, don't sweat the small stuff as that is all your life will become.

Why oh Why?!...

...Do I listen to the weather forecast?

...Don't my earphones ever stay in my ears for the duration of my journey.... just once please? That's all I ask, just once!

...Didn't the mother say something to her son whilst he coughs all over my hair whilst I was on the train?

...At the ripe ol' age of 3#, do I still giggle at someone's unfortunate name? A client's name is "Kop Fatt Koc" - i kid you not!

...Do I forget to allow for extra time when i wear my FMB's. It takes me an average of 10 minutes longer to get to places.

..Is it that I never find anything to buy when I want to go buy something, but when i don't want to spend, I always find something I want to buy?

...In a city like London; one of the fashion capitals of the world, home of the world's prevalent fashionistas. Why does camel toe exist? There really is no excuse and I would like to propose on the spot fines!

...Is it that just because a coked up supermodel slung on an old pair of skinny fit jeans, suddenly the whole world has to go a buy a new pair of skinny jeans? I refuse! (That's cos i still have a pair from when they were soo OUT!) Besides, my feet are too big and it looks like i am walking on a pair of sledge hammers.

...Do men stand with their legs so far apart on the platform whilst waiting for a train? Surely their balls aren't that big?

waffle

This is such a ponsey blog. Sorry but I am bored of this blog as it's so boring and poncey - ooOOoo look at me whilst i galavant around the world. I don't know how you spell ponce, so any suggestions are most welcome.

i've never had so many butt clenching episodes in all my life! Butt clenchers = exceptionally close calls eg: when i am minutes away from missing my flight or i am minutes away from hitting someone.

It's not to say that I need some anger management therapy since returning to civilised land, but more to do with the fact that I seem to attract weirdo's and run into them on a daily basis.

2 weeks ago i was on the metro in Milan and this short fat older italian supranoesq woman started speaking to me in Italian. I said i don't speak italian, so she mutters something under her breath, to which i respond:

"Excuse me, what did you say?" (isn't it funny how abuse transcends all race, class and colour?)
"you in italy, you should speak ITALIAN"
"ok, so when you go to china you should speak CHINESE?"
"hey lady, you so impolite!"
"you are the one shouting"

Park bench

Why oh why would an airport furnish their departure lounge with park benches? They are wooden with a fancy steel trim and incredibly uncomfortable. the only obvious reason being that they want you on your feet so you shop shop shop! How many Turkish delights can one buy?

Hands down, the funniest thing I saw in Istanbul was a chain of home appliance stores called "Arcelik". How does one pronounce that?

cab drivers are amusing. Not all of them know where they are going and just stop in the middle of the road to ask people how to get to destinations and still get lost. When they know full well you cannot speak English, they speak to you in Turkish and get you to agree to something just so they can justify getting lost and charging you triple the actual distance!

Christmas trees are still up over here. Funnier given it's a largely Islamic state.