All good, or is it?

Friend’s are so important to me, they really are - friends are the family you choose.

I’ve recently had the unfortunate experience of drifting apart from a close friend whom I shared many good times with in my first year in Dobay. Finally, well over 1 year ago I decided to cut her out of my life due to incredibly immature, insecure and off behavior.

She is the sort of person who jumps from one friend to another, then go back. She would befriend someone, then start bitching them behind their back and then go back to being their friend a few months later.

Friends of mine who knew her would joke, “so who is her flavor of the month”. Basically the sort of person who couldn’t commit. Ironically, her love life completely mirrors this behavior – she was a serial dater, from one to another with a new flavor every few months and just walking away before things got to heavy for fear of getting hurt. And she felt it was never her fault, it was always other people. With this attitude, nothing will change.

Being an incredibly loyal person (possibly my biggest downfall!), I tried everything I could to keep the friendship going, but she kept walking away. I tried to talk about what it was that had made this happen. She didn’t want to know and just wanted to brush it under the carpet and played jealous childish, powerfreak mindgames. So I gave up. Admittedly, her insecure behaviour and head in the cloud attitude made it very difficult to be in her company, but this increased as the distance became greater.

Both her sisters wanted me to try and make amends, talk to her and sort it out. I tried, but at the end of the day, it’s a two-way conversation. She was too immature to own anything and just needed therapy basically!

Two months after I left Dobuy, I was listening to the radio and heard a song which reminded me of the times we used to party. I picked up my phone and sent her a text saying something along the lines of; it’s a shame we have drifted apart, lets talk and sort it out.

She just carried on like everything was normal and there was no issue and we reminisced a bit. We occasionally email now, but I know we will never have the friendship we had unless she takes responsibility. It is quite an Asian trait to just brush things under the carpet and act like everything is normal, say everything is ok, but it’s not. End of the day, I am now only talking to her as I am friends with her sisters, otherwise I just don’t have time for people like this in my life.

I don’t like fake friendships at all. If I feel there is something wrong and there obviously is something wrong and they are not willing to talk and sort it out, then it’s not worth it for me. I've got too much to do and been through a lot to put up with BS from people who call them your friends. I'm not going to run after people anymore who have their issues and just constantly shit on you.

I'm a firm believer in; you get out what you put it or you reap what you sow. But I guess this isn't always the case? Or is it?

Inconsistency with closest friends and ourselves are one of the greatest faults of human nature.